A Large Heaping of Pride and Humility

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Today was just a rough day. I was stuck in what one might call a rut. The following pictures depict it quite well.


I pride (this wording will make this hilarious later) myself in being pretty aware of my emotions and working through them. Ruts are when i know i'm in the wrong with my emotions- like being grumpy, frustrated, or just in a sour mood- but it takes me awhile to get out of it. 

It's at this point that i am very grateful for Christ centered people in my life. I am thankful for friends who are open and honest with me and who don't beat around the bush. They use the Spirit to help those around them. They are a huge inspiration to me and to the type of person i strive to be. 

I texted one of my best friends, Sammi, and just asked a simple question: How do i humble myself? 

Sometimes when we go through hard things and come out on top we yearn for validation. We want someone to see how great we are doing and to cheer us on. It's not a bad thing to feel, but if left untreated it can fester into pride. I've been growing a lot and changing and just working on myself to come closer to Christ and ITS BEEN HARD. It's been an uphill climb. I'm a pretty reserved person when it comes to very personal things and not many know pretty vital parts of my story. Very few people have seen exactly how hard it's been and how much has changed. It's like when you've made a really great play in soccer, basketball, hockey, whatever and you turn around AND NO ONE SAW.

Leaves you feeling a little bit like this,



It's hard to walk that line because it suddenly becomes me, me, me, me. Suddenly it's pride. Why can't people see how awesome i am? Why can't people tell me that i'm going great? Why can't anyone see how much i've changed?  

To which a very wise and Christ centered woman answered, 

"Alma 26:11-17."

 11 But Ammon said unto him: I do not boast in my own strength, nor in my own wisdom; but behold, my joy is full, yea, my heart is brim with joy, and I will rejoice in my God.
 12 Yea, I know that I am nothing; as to my strength I am weak; therefore I will not boast of myself, but I will boast of my God, for in his strength I can do all things; yea, behold, many mighty miracles we have wrought in this land, for which we will praise his name forever.
 13 Behold, how many thousands of our brethren has he loosed from the pains of hell; and they are brought to sing redeeming love, and this because of the power of his word which is in us, therefore have we not great reason to rejoice?
 14 Yea, we have reason to praise him forever, for he is the Most High God, and has loosed our brethren from the chains of hell.
 15 Yea, they were encircled about with everlasting darkness and destruction; but behold, he has brought them into his everlasting light, yea, into everlasting salvation; and they are encircled about with the matchless bounty of his love; yea, and we have been instruments in his hands of doing this great and marvelous work.
 16 Therefore, let us glory, yea, we will glory in the Lord; yea, we will rejoice, for our joy is full; yea, we will praise our God forever. Behold, who can glory too much in the Lord? Yea, who can say too much of his great power, and of his mercy, and of his long-suffering towards the children of men? Behold, I say unto you, I cannot say the smallest part which I feel.
 17 Who could have supposed that our God would have been so merciful as to have snatched us from our awful, sinful, and polluted state?
With these words attached,

"I think its ok to be frustrated that no one recognizes your growth. BUT it's more important that you don't stunt your growth by being bitter about the fact that no one knows the inner struggle you've gone through to get to where you are. Because the truth of the matter is that EVERYONE struggles to grow spiritually. And most of those battles DO go unseen. You can be proud of where you are as long as you put your pride and gratitude where it belongs, because you did not get there on your own."

If you've read this far you're probably wondering why in the world i'm sharing this personal experience with you. I'm completely calling myself out in the middle of a pride cycle. Not exactly the best light to shine on myself. Long story short, someone out there needed to read it. 

It is vital to have Christ centered people in your life. It is vital to have people that you trust to be honest with you, especially about hard things. I am so thankful for women and men like her in my life who lead me to Christ. Who lead me to light. 

I am so thankful for the Book of Mormon and the power that the words within hold. I am so thankful for loving Prophets who testify of Christ and how great our God is. I am thankful for a loving reminder from a loving friend about where my strength comes from. I know that without a doubt that i would be no where without my God. I would be continually stuck in ruts without a hope in the world of every escaping. I am who i am because of my God and His strength. I am who i am today because of the awe inspiring power of the Atonement. I am who i am today because of His love. I am who i am today because He has brought so much peace and power into my life. 
                                        

I am far from perfect and some days will be ruts. Some days i will get caught up in the pride cycle. Some days i will get lost in the "why me?" of this life. You know what though? My God is great. My God is powerful enough to pull me out of those. My God has a strength that will never falter. 

Never forget whose presence you came from and never forget whose presence you are striving to be in again.


My Heavenly Father loves me and He loves you. He is aware of your struggles and He is cheering you on. Life is not meant to be easy, but it's meant to be joyful. Be joyful of your God. Find strength in Him. Every day is a new day to renew that joy. 



Also, if you ever want a large dose of humility....read The Screwtape Letters. One of the most enlightening and humbling books i've ever had the privilege to read. 


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